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Ships without infocards
This is a list of ships without infocards, since people said they want to help. Infocards should be around two sentences to several paragraphs long. They can be as silly as you want them to be, but as long as they give a general description of the ship it's fine. Delorian TEN THOUSAND NIGGAWATTS, AND 88 MILES PER HOUR TAKE YOU A LONG WAY FROM HOME, MY FRIENDS. (Alternate idea below) 1.21 Gigawatts!? GREAT SCOTT! That's what you need to travel through time with this sucker, assuming the flux capacitor on it was working. Thankfully, whoever put this DeLorean on the market had the brains to modify it for space use, and add a new armored frame and body in place of the old one. Needless to say, is capable of going MUCH faster than 88 MPH when the V-Tech kicks in. We're not sure who made all these additions, but we're pretty sure it wasn't Emmett Brown. Trollship.jpg Problem, freelancer? BSG Viper Being a refit of a long obsolete in-atmosphere fighter craft, many regard the Colonial Viper Mark II as little more than a museum piece. More aesthetically-minded freelancers recognize a heavily customized piece of hardware favored for it's classic profile and peerless maneuverability. It can't shrug off concentrated firepower like it's modern counterparts, but it can stay a step ahead of it with ease. Caution: Allergic to cylons. TIE Fighter Aren't you a little short to be a Storm Tr- AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE KITCHEN MAKING ME A SANDWICH? (Slightly more serious infocard idea below) A mass produced starfighter from the Galatic Empire in that one galaxy far far away. The TIE Fighter was built on the idea that cheaply made fighters with minimum armament and absolutely no protection whatsoever could win a battle due to sheer numbers. While the fighter is indeed fast and manueverable, its total lack of shielding (In the original design anyway) made it a flying coffin compared to the fighters of the Rebel Alliance, which actually HAD shields as a standard feature. And people wonder why the Rebels won. Maybe if they'd built less of these and more TIE Interceptors, or fuck, TIE Advanceds, they wouldn't have gotten their asses kicked. TIE Advanced A limited production TIE Fighter sporting better overall performance, and it actually had a shield generator put into the thing so it could survive something beyond a slight tapping. Made famous by Darth Vader, who took down several Rebel fighters at the battle of Yavin using this model, only to be sent spinning across the galaxy by his dumbass wingman who ran into the thing. In all seriousness though, it's probably one of the best fighters the Empire produced. Naboo Fighter Now *this* is podracing! Droid Fighter I don't get it. Why do robots need robot fighters? Or is this a robot itself? If that's true why am I able to fly it? Or do robots fly it? Is it like a horse, but for robots, or is it like in that one smurf movie where you link your dickbraintail up with its dickbraintail? Is it a light fighter? That's one thing we can say a definite YES to. X-Wing S-foils included in deluxe model only. Not everyone gets to be rogue leader. Consult chapter 2-a of pilot's manual, "shutting up", and chapter 2-b, "dealing with it" for more details. (Somewhat more serious infocard idea below) The signature fighter of the Rebel Alliance. Oddly enough, for a ship used by what amounts to a small alliance compared to the Galatic Empire they're fighting, the X-Wing heavily outclasses most imperial fighters. Capable of making lightspeed jumps unsupported, it has shields, twice as many guns as most TIEs, built in launchers for missiles and torpedoes...Seriously, how the fuck does a goddamn Empire make shit that doesn't feature this kinda stuff on their own fighters? Unfortunately for you, this particular X-Wing is secondhand, the Hyperdrive is broken and the parts needed to fix it aren't available anywhere in this universe, so you'll be using Jumpgates like everyone else. Y-Wing Fearful that somebody might steal their precious space magic rock, the Bretonians decided that they needed a powerful bomber-fighter hybrid to protect their asses and their assets. Taking inspiration from some old movies, they constructed the Y-Wing. Built out of their new space metals, the Y-Wing is distributed exclusively to defend Big Ben. B-Wing Despite looking nothing like the letter 'B', B-Wings still exist for the same reasons as the other -Wings. It functions as a light bomber, a light fighter with two heavy weapon slots, but lacks the energy capacity to use the highest tier of weapons. B-Wings are utilized throughout the entire galaxy by fucking no one, because they're terrible. Arc-170 The ship that came before the X-Wing. You cannot be Rogue leader with this, because that doesn't exist. Arc-170s were found by Zoners out in the Border Worlds, and rebuilt into their own private fighters. However because episode 3 sucked, nobody really uses them that much. Arwing Developed in the Lylat system, the Arwing is the signature fighter of the Starfox mercenary team. It utilizes a G-Diffusor System for flight, as well as inertial dampening since the shit this fighter does would royally fuck up someone from G-Forces alone. Oh right, and when you fly one, you'll feel very tempted to... DO A BARREL ROLL! Puddlejumper A small light fighter, adapted from lost and then found Broski tech. It has relatively the same stats as a Bretonian Cavalier, with the added bonus of not looking like a gay fish. Puddlejumpers also have unique shield capabilities, at the cost of some hull integrity. Contrary to popular belief, it cannot jump puddles. Wraith Dart Some sort of space cliffracer. SKREE SKREE SKREE. Jedi Fighter A light fighter originally not used by Broski Enterprises. That is, they built it, but fuck man this thing was shitty even in the movie, who wants to use Ewan McGregor's sloppy seconds? Anyways, it has a few special abilities, but other than that has the same stats as most light fighters, perhaps probably less. Use at your own risk. Pulsar Corvette A cruiser we stole from Discovery who had in turn stole it from Homeworld. It's got a really really really big gun, that fires a small beam that destroys things. Still, pretty cool eh? Normandy SR1 and SR2 I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite designated dancing area on the citadel. Or not. Ding dong bannu. Please, pay no attention to the TORtanic sinking off in the distance, it is none of your concern right now. Also, I'm a gay Reaper. Starcraft Battlecruiser The behemoth-class battlecruiser was originally designed in the distant Korprulu Sector by the Terran Confederancy. The neosteel reinforced hull and high shield capacity make this capital ship a resilient foe, and it can deliver devastating amounts of firepower with its weapon batteries and the Yamato main particle cannon. Enterprise This Constitution-class heavy cruiser is the most highly celebrated starship of the 23th century and the iconic spacecraft of the Terran federation, serving both as diplomatic starship and a competent battlecruiser. Designed to explore the final frontier of space and boldly go where no freelancer has gone before. Firefly "It's okay. I'm a leaf on the wind." "What does that mean?" Psi Carrier THE ANIMA ARE RESTLESS Psi Battleship DIRECT MY WRATH Imperial Battlebarge SPACE MARINE BATTLE BARGE LITANY OF LITANY'S LITANY. nsf heretics, xeno scum. Several months ago, a reality rift opened in Rheinland, spewing out a huge version of this here shippy. The Rheinlanders liked the church looking looks that it looked like, and decided to scale it down to cruiser size and sell it to chumps like you. Thus the Battlebarge was born. It's recommended you scream at the top of your lungs when you attack other ships. TARDIS So, like, Time And Relative Dimension In Space. That shit's intense, yo. The TARDIS is the Doctor's shit ship and he goes around space and time and fixes shit. The TARDIS travels through what's known as the Time Vortex where he fucks shit up. The Doctor's TARDIS is the last one known to exist, because of the Last Great Time War, inwhich the Doctor fucking got tired of the Gallifreyans and the Daleks fucking eachother's gaping assholes over at the Medusa Cascade and decided to lock them all in a god damn Time Lock where they would sit there and contemplate their worhtless lives while the Doctor fucking saved the universe. Oh, and not all fucking TARDIS's look like fucking police boxes. All TARDIS's are equipped with a handy feature that lets the TARDIS blend into it's god damn envioroment, like a fucking lizard or some shit. For example, so say the Doctor went to Egypt, the TARDIS would be come an obelisk or something. The Doctor's TARDIS is fucking special, and here's why: While traveling around the god damn universe the Doctor landed his god damn TARDIS in the 1920-1940 era in a city. (I can't recall the god damn episode, so shut the fuck look it up yourself) And the TARDIS's ability to blend in with it's surroundings was lost and it stuck to being a god damn police box, the Doctor got a kick out of it and know travels around space, time, and the universe in a fucking police box. THE END. tl;dr: the TARDIS fucks shit up. Broski Bomber The mainstay of the Bromada, Broski Bombers are incompatible with most of the weapons in Sirius, mostly because Broski ships are only used to mounting heavy weaponry. The bomber is capable of mounting multiple torpedos, and can blow most heavier targets out of the sky. Broski Fighter A heavy fighter adapted by Broski to use their superweapons. The fighter is incapable of using normal guns, but can mount any heavy weapons, making it good for taking down larger targets. Sova A small-scale broski cruiser, thought in reality it is probably closer to that of a destroyer, and a supreme one at that. While it is believed the Sova was meant to originally be a ship similar to a carrier, the current version has had all excess junk (such as food producers, gravity support, and toliets) removed, and the missing components replaced with extreme amounts of ordinance. The ship is capable of mounting a multitude of forward cannons and similar heavy cannons, but cannot use standardized turrets or hold fighters. Akkan The Akkan was originally a colony ship, but its lucious cargo space and large bays made it perfect for a weapon of war. Over time, the Supreme Carrier was transformed into a massive hyper-spatial storage unit, capable of carrying around 20 or so fighters, but lacks any worthy firepower. It is at most a very strong and useful support ship, better for trading and fleets than anything else. Spaital Spaitals don't exist. Stop asking about Spaitals. Nyx An IMG VHF BLT LOL MFW yeah okay I'm done. The Nyx was originally featured in Discovery, but was liberated from the horrible fate of being a roleplay ship. Now the Nyx serves as a defense fighter for IMG mining operations, since they'd be stuck in Eagles otherwise and holy fuck nobody wants to fly an Eagle. Milenium Falcon The Millennium Falcon, made famous for making the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs...Wait a second, a parsec is a measurement of distance, not time. The Kessel Run passes very close to multiple black holes. The faster you go, the closer you can safely get to the black holes, and the closer you get to the black holes, the shorter the distance. True story. In all seriousness though, it's a heavily modified Corellean craft with a heavily souped up engine, turret mounts, and plenty of room to smuggle all sorts of commodities. Despite this, on first glance, most people would say: "What a piece of junk!" Wookie not included. Ragnarok Odin hated you so much, he made a world-ending event into a space ship JUST to kill you. You must be some kind of dumb motherfucker to manage that. Argon Buster In X3, this was an M4, their equivalent of a heavy fighter. It retains those stats, and is a good mix of speed and firepower. The Buster is used by nobody however, becuase fuck who wants to, it kinda looks ugly in this game. Argon Nova The Argon Nova is an M3 in X3, a very heavy fighter if you will. It retains the property of firepower over agility in Freelancer. What's the excuse for it being a billion light years away? Who fucking cares. Somebody obviously asked for it, so it's in the game. Argon Discoverer As the name might suggest, the Discovered is a light fighter, or an M5 in X3. It's got agility, but has no firepower and is basically made out of butter. I mean this literally. You want background? Here's some background. One day Synth Foods said "HEY GUYS LET'S MAKE A SHIP OUT OF BUTTER" and everyone went "Uh Synth that seems impractile and rather expensive and Synth said "FUCK YOU DO IT" and then this ship was made. Out of butter. Polaris Arr, so ye be needin' a ship ter sail the seven seas of the universe? Well here be a fine ship fer yer needs, she be able ter take on THTHE BIGGEST SPESS KRAKEN she be able to defend ye from THE MOST FEARSOME SPESS JUNKERS. She also be havin' the finest oak plank fer ye landlubbers ter be walkin'. Star Destroyer "Warning all firing station personnel: Do not waste ammo on targets listing slightly to the left." Phallus Freighter Now with more dragon dildos! Homeworld Assualt Frigate Homeworld Defense Frigate Hiigaran Cruiser A cruiser, recovered from Broski Enterprises. It is built to carry ships more than engage in battle. Hiigaran Destroyer Keeper Destroyer Sajuuk Found deep within a blackhole, Sajuuk was originally several miles long. However, because it could not fit through fucking ANYTHING, the Sirians shrunk it down to a more flyable size. Thus, the Sajuuk now sits as a pretty bitching cruiser, mostly built to take down other heavy targets. Vagyr Destroyer Vagyr Missile Corvette Despite the name, this ship cannot fire missiles, nor is it a corvette. To be honest I have no idea what the dick a corvette even is. A type of car maybe? Vagyr Assualt Frigate It assualts frigates, it isn't actually one. However frigates don't exist in Freelancer, so you're shit out of luck. Hiigaran Scout This ship used to come equip with a jumpdrive and a special relay transmitter. However that was too expensive, so they were ripped out. This ship would still be crap regardless though. Hiigaran Interceptor As interceptor class ships don't exist in Freelancer, this is merely a Homeworld-stolen light fighter. It cannot intercept things, and it will probably die trying to do something like that. So don't try it. We're not kidding, don't. Vagyr Bomber This fucking thing? It sucks. Seriously, you'll feel tempted to buy this as soon as you set your eyes on it. Don't. Go with a HF instead. You were warned. Vagyr Scout This is a light fighter, adapted from recovered Broski tech. It's not used much because it looks like its from 1999 (it is) and its got shit stats. However if you like Homeworld, you might as well fly it. Vagyr Interceptor As interceptor class ships don't exist in Freelancer, this is merely a Homeworld-stolen light fighter. It cannot intercept things, and it will probably die trying to do something like that. So don't try it. We're not kidding, don't. Vagyr Fighter A heavy fighter, taken and adapted from various sources, most important Broski Enterprises. Despite this, it lacks a certain quality and style that people like in their fighters, and is therefore unused, especially by you. Outcast Cruiser Inspired by their narcotic space bread and by the Corsair's recent forays into capital ship building, the Outcasts decided to go and construct this cruiser. They decided to make it shaped like bread for obvious reasons. Outcast cruisers lack heavy anti-capship firepower, but are well suited to blowing transports and fighters out of the sky, which makes sense, they are pirate cruisers. Outcast Gunboat Most people assume gunboats are crewed by several people. The Outcast gunboat says "Fuck that" and is mostly automated. Because most senior Outcasts die from bread overdoses or otherwise get killed in some other way, the Outcasts had to build a ship that relied on only a small amount of people. The Gunboat lacks the advanced capabilities of most normal gunships, but are more manuverable as a trade-off. Corsair Cruiser Who gave a bunch of homicidal cannibals a CRUISER? Hide your women and children folks, cause they're eatin' ERRYONE out here! //// Unhappy with their current advancement in the "biggest, slowest, most overcompensating" field of ship design, the Corsairs created this monster, determined to make the biggest and most impractical cruiser to date. After much testing, with many designs scrapped due to their ability to easily use jump gates and trade lanes, they finally settled on this thing. When it was discovered that it can fit through a jump gate after a few dozen tries, the project head of its development was promptly shot. It's rarely seen, mostly due to the fact that it can't fit anywhere. In space. Corsair Gunboat Deciding that their ships STILL weren't unwiedly enough, the Corsairs went and made this motherfucker. The gunboat is strong, armored, but contrary to popular belief, are capable of ramming things with the giant bull horns they have. Seriously try it, you´ll be piercenan pussy in no time. Pirate Gunboat